IDK. IT'S MY MIND.
Snap, a twig broke. My heart is pounding. Sweat is pouring off my face. They know where I am now. If I survive, it will only be by a slim chance. I sprint full speed for the entrance to my underground fort. I make it there just in enough time to slip in, and close the door. I can hear their feet just above me, the feet of students in his creative writing class who follow their leader Mr. Robtoy mindlessly. Well, now I'm in safety...at least for the time being. The last time I was here was about a month ago. I take a minute to contemplate what is happening, and if I would survive.
The reason why I came here this time was because Mr. Robtoy had a writing prompt and made fantasy monsters come off the pages of his student's journals. To make the monsters stronger, they shared aloud. The more they shared their stories, the stronger they become. How would someone fend for ones self in a chaotic and dangerous place? Well I'm in the works of figuring that out.
I walk into the small kitchen that is just to the right of the entrance, find a half gallon tub of chocolate ice cream and grab a spoon. The fort is well designed, the sound barrier keeps me unnoticed, the big white leather couch for watching Netflix, and creating plans to defeat this seemingly unstoppable force. I take a seat on the couch, and prop my feet up on the ottoman and turn on Netflix to Third Rock From The Sun.
My long haired white cat, Mr. Fluffy Cakes jumped up on my lap. He is the cutest fluff ball of a cat, but he sheds up a storm.
From eating so mindlessly, the full tub of ice cream becomes an empty container in less than an hour. I shut off the television and carry Mr. Fluffy Cakes to his cat bed. I lay in bed, as I'm about to fall asleep, I have the greatest idea I've had in a long time! I jump out of bed, rush to my small office area and rummage around the fort for a piece of paper, so I won't forget. All I'll have to do is create a hero in one of my stories, not a hard thing to do, the thing about it is that the hero has to have every quality to keep me safe and occupied. The only problem is how I would I have the hero come off my pages and make it stronger without having someone to share the story. If I head out now, they are destined to see me, and make me become a better writer. I can't do that I don't have enough brain power! If they caught me, my brain would evidently explode. I'll just go to bed for now, maybe by the time I get up I'll have more ideas.
"Well good morning, Fluffy! How is my ever-shedding cat?" He responds with a playful meow and a flick of his tail. I prepare his breakfast and set it in front of him. Get my coffee and add my cream and sugar. I grab a note pad and write down my plans to defeat them. Hey, maybe I could, no. Who would read a story to a cat? Well I guess it's worth a try.
"Come here Fluffy! Listen to this." I began to read, "Lilac, was a cursed human being. Her wings were blue, and the horn of her forehead was just a ear of corn while the rest of her body looked like a red squirrel. She was the size of a average adult women, she walked, talked, and flew like a plane. One of the advantages of being part unicorn was that she was magical. One of her signature moves to destroy her enemies was to make one or more of the kernels to bolt at them and turn her victims into popcorn. They tasted delicious, she also carried extra butter and salt in her little kangaroo pouch. When we would get bored, she'd turn on her mobile Wifi and we would listen to the 60s, 70s, and 80s Classic Hits on Pandora." Fluffy just looks up at me, I interpreted that look he's giving me to mean, "You're crazy, but you're a genius!" I smile back, pet him, and when I look up, there stands a creature, the one I wrote the story about.
"This is crazy! How can this be?!" I'm scared and shocked, but happy. It's weird.
"I take it that you are the person who created me," She says just a hint annoyed and tired. And takes a seat on my green, animated, giant, evil bunny chair.
"Oh my gosh!" I squeal, while Fluffy is hiding under the couch traumatized from the arrival of Lilac.
"Well how will the story go?" She asks me looking a little bit concerned with her head resting on her paw.
"I guess we are going to find out. I'll grab some supplies."
In about half a hour I have a weeks worth of water, dried food, clothes for the weather, a fire starter, and Fluffy. Lilac carried all the supplies and Fluffy. The cold winds of autumn push against us, the leaves are holding on to the trees and whispering of what's yet to come our way. Soon enough the cool and gentle raindrops fall upon us, then it grows colder and stronger. Finally, we come to a grand cave with a lake next to it where we set up to stay the night. We huddle around the fire eating some perch that I caught, some berries that Lilac found, and some bread I brought. After we finished our meal I see multiple pairs of eyes staring at us through the woods. I look at Lilac to warn her, but she already knows. She fires up her kernels, and shoots as the monsters bolt our way. When they got hit, they fell back and popped into popcorn. We went to collect the popcorn. It was the size of a giant bolder. I cut it into many pieces and packed it up. We defeated those monsters, but we have many more to go. Lilac got very weak, so I tell the story to Fluffy over and over again. She recovered fairly fast.
"Well good night folks. Good progress today," Said Lilac extremely monotone.
"Back at ya! We couldn't have done it without you!" She turns back and smiles her squirrelly smile. I place an alarm on a near tree that I programmed to go off when the monsters come near. Then I head to bed.
I wake up to the smell of coffee, chocolates, meat, fried eggs, pistachios, and raspberries.
"Lilac, where did you get the chocolate?"
"I'm part unicorn, I have magic. What do you expect?!"
"I just want to know where you got it from. Don't mess with me this early in the morning."
"Like I said, I have magic. I can creat anything with my brain power," She expressed jokingly.
Playing back, I say "Oh please! I have the great brain of a goldfish! Nobody can top that!" And grin back. We finish breakfast and pack up.
Who else would have I encountered but Mrs. Mallory White. One of the most annoying, psychotic, maniacs. She looks like a zombie now. The last time I saw her she was holding my binders strap back so I couldn't escape...unless I took it off, but I wasn't quite that smart at the time. Than when her husband, Mr. Ceddie White came to walk with her to her next class, she let me go. When she let go I fell forward because of the tension of me leaning forward, and her holding back, I had a very graceful face plant.
"Mrs. White, we meet again."
"Indeed. Who else would I meet up again that has a shocking resemblance to you?" I try to make a comment to that, but she cuts me off.
"Well the only thing that has a shocking resemblance to you would be a caffeinated squirrel!" I turn around to see Lilac with a HUGE cup of coffee in her hand and gave Mrs. White a very unpleasant, evil look.
"Um? I'm gonna go now," She says with a fake smile, turns around and runs as fast as she can possibly go.
"Come back here you little rascal!" Lilac yells after her, and shakes her head disappointingly.
"I can't believe squirrels are made fun of because we drink coffee. Stupid people. Want some more coffee?"
After we finished our last cup of coffee we grab our bags and Fluffy. Are a quarter way to the powerhouse, Mr. Robtoy's classroom. Next place we will camp out next is behind the store my guardian owns in East Berkshire called Artisans Market where Skoozy's was. We are walking around and there is absolutely nothing coming after us. The only thing that was really bothering me was how people would just stare at us. Many took pictures, there was even a news reporters flocking our way. Instead of making popcorn, Lilac choose the less violent way to escape these crazy Vermonters. She made us and our luggage invisible.
After the people left we stayed in a high quality camper that was for sale. Lilac made a gorgeous blue car to barter for the camper. Lilac uses her magic to make her a human again, and because of her curse, will only last about a month. We go outside to throw out the trash. Mikayla and her character, Goose Nick try to hypnotize us with their chicken casserole after we threw out the trash. Lilac and I weren't prepared for this. Right before Goose Nick got into position to bonk us over our heads with the uneaten chicken casserole, Fluffy attacked. We snapped out of hypnosis, than Lilac turned them into cheesecake.
"Fluffy! You saved our lives! And Lilac, that will be a tasty dessert. Thank you."
"We still have Mrs. White on our tails, I just know it."
"Lilac, can't we just celebrate this little accomplishment? Come on inside it's warmer."
"Thank you for the invitation, but I'm sure you'd probably like it better out here. It matches the coldness of your heart." Mrs. White says. Lilac is clearly annoyed that I hadn't listened to her. And walks into the camper to the couch, and turns on the television and says loudly, "Hey, Camellia pretty soon on the breaking news it'll say you died a really odd death."
"Shut up, I don't need your two cents, squirrelly."
"You need me, admit it," Lilac says to me from her seat.
"Camellia, why don't you just give up, and become a better writer. Believe me, I hacked your grades to see what they were, and they are decreasing immensely. If you would have chosen to stay with us nobody would be coming after you to defeat you. You have forced us to do this. We all together could have conquered the world. Now when everyone, but you, that were in Mr. Robtoy's creative writing class make history," Said Mrs. White from behind me.
I turn around to face her, "Mrs. White, you're a zombie. Your brain exploded and now you have no idea what you're doing...I'm really sorry but I'm starving," I pause and look back at Lilac, "Lilac, turn Mrs. White into a half gallon of chocolate ice cream."
"Sure," In the blink of an eye where Mrs. White stood is the ice cream. I get a spoon, and take a seat next to Lilac on the couch.
"It's a really odd feeling to think your eating one of your old best friends. I almost feel bad. I feel like a cannibal. After I finish this ice cream, I don't think I could ever eat any ice cream again," I toss the spoon into the container, "Heck, I don't even think I can finish and not be sick."
"I really don't care. If you feel that bad toss it into a black trash bag like your covering up a murder situation like they always do in the movies. You might feel better."
"I don't know what's worse. They both will make me feel like a evil killer."
"Maybe that's who you are."
"Do you ever shut up?"
"What do you think?" She says as she looks challengingly at me.
"I give up. I'm going to bed. Night, Lilac."
"Don't snore too loud."
"Bite me," I snap at her.
"Lilac, why did you wake me up at," I take a look at my watch, "12:02? Is it even for a valid reason?" I say looking and feeling close to lifeless. How do I know how it feels to be lifeless? I really don't know exactly, I've played a dead person three times in different productions previously. So I guess that counts as experience.
"If you'd call survival a valid reason, than yes."
"What is it?"
"It's Fred Bacon's army of living psychotic cartoon characters from SpongeBob."
"Than we must defeat them! But first, coffee and a messy hair selfie," It only took me ten minutes, and I was ready. This time Lilac gave me a small mason jar of magical chocolate dust.
Heading our way is Fred Bacon sitting on recliner that SpongeBob, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Sandy Cheeks were carrying with plankton in his hand having a conversation. He's the worst enemy anyone has ever had. After they gently set the chair down, Fred Bacon walks my way with his powerful, yet evil presence.
"Well if it isn't the guy everyone loves," I say flatly with a hint of sarcasm.
"You remember well, I see." He says with a sinister smirk.
"Really? How could I forget your name after you told me your evil logo?"
"Hey, just because I can't make funny jokes doesn't mean I'm not evil."
"Oh really? Because I've seen many evil maniacs in movies who have great jokes."
"Would you like to have a fighting match with words?"
"Indeed. What would be more fun than this?"
"Then we shall begin. You first." We begin to circle each other just like boxers before a punch gets thrown.
"You Trump supporter!" As I say those words, a peach colored light flys at him and the fires of those words knocked him over.
"Oldies music and old movie freak!" He says but his strawberry red light just disappeared almost immediately after he said it.
"There nothing wrong with my classic hits and great movie choices."
"How about lets just quit and say I won." He says. I turn so my back faces him and walk away and say, "I'd rather not because I have one more up my sleeve."
"And I don't. I'm defenseless in this game. I can't even cheat at this game. And all my weapons are ones with SpongeBob, Sqidward, Mr. Krabs, and Sandy Cheeks. I'm way to lazy to get up to get them or even call them over."
"If I were you, I'd put an egg in my shoe, and beat it."
"Could you at least help me up?"
"Nah, I have a better idea," I smile, "What's your idea?" He says while I grab the pouch of chocolate dust out of my purse.
"And what's that?" I ignore his questions and cast a pinch of the dust above his head and he turns into a chocolate bar of enormous magnitude. In a matter of seconds his followers from SpongeBob are surrounding the chocolate bar confused where he had gone. I cast a pinch of the chocolate dust over the rest of their heads, and they too become beautiful chocolate bars.
Finally I think we are pretty safe, until we get closer to Mr. Robtoy's classroom. We've only had a few hours of sleep, and are heading to Enosburg High School. We meet up with one of my hippie looking friends, Tyty. His forest of a beard had moldy french fries, old gum and his pet mice scampering around in the mess.
"Well hello, McCrazor! I haven't seen ya in school since last semester, why?"
"Mr. Robtoy's creative writing class," I say.
"You really weren't creative. I mean, at all. In any way. Is that why ya left? Where have ya been?"
"I know I'm not that creative. I'm not stupid. I'm just not creative that's it. Okay?" I say a hint annoyed.
"Tone it down." He digs into his beard and grabs his favorite mouse, Lamb Chop Lucy. Why is that the name of his mouse? Don't ask. I'll just tell you. He was eating a lamb chop, and this mouse, steals it right off his plate. So, he kept the little trouble maker.
"Here, pet her." He offers a disgusting, plump, evil looking mouse to me.
"Um, no thanks." He puts her back in his beard.
"So where did ya go?" He says placing some chewed gum into his beard.
"My secret hide out. Key word: secret. As in, for classified personal only."
"Oh come on! I've known ya since kindergarten! And you won't tell me?"
"Correct." I say with my arms crossed.
"Well that's just mean."
"I never said I was nice." I shoot my eyes at him.
"So what brought ya back? And where are ya headed?"
"To stop the growing crisis. I'm headed to Mr. Robtoy's." I get into a superhero stance, and look into space for a minute. I realize how stupid I look, and snap back into reality.
"Are you intending to make ya-self sound like a hero? Cause' that's how it sounds."
"I wasn't really trying to. But I'm probably gonna be a hero soon."
"Would you like some chocolate? It's made from SpongeBob characters and Fred Bacon?"
"What?! SpongeBob?! Fred Bacon?! Huh?!"
"Are you deaf?" I look at him a hint annoyed.
"No. Just very confused."
"I mean what I said. So do you want some?" I enunciate to him.
"Good. Here." I give him all the chocolate bars, just about 43 pounds.
"Oh my goulash! That's crazy! And extremely heavy!" He nearly falls over by its weight.
"Bye" I resume my journey to Enosburg.
"McCrazor? That's a vary funny name. Where would you get a name like that?"
"I played a killer in the eighth grade movie assignment. I accidentally stabbed Hunter, and he died. It was a fake knife."
"Was it really fake?" She says looking into my eyes with her arms crossed
"It was! You think I'd purposely stab someone? With a real knife? Lilac?!"
"I have every right to believe that."
"You don't have any reason to believe that."
"You turned your friends into food than ate them. I hope you know, when I turn people into food to eat, they aren't my friends."
"Hey! I felt so bad for killing him, and for eating my friends."
"Oh I'm sure you're really sad."
"Yeah right, you'll turn someone into green eggs and ham, little Miss. I Am"
"Your putting me in danger! Oh no! I'm living with a killer, help!" Lilac says so overly dramatically and waving her hands in the air.
"Lilac. Shut up."
"Or what are you gonna do?"
"I'll hack the system to make Donald Trump president."
"Fine. I'll shut up."
"Good." We walk in silence for a while, and stop to let Fluffy stretch his legs. But he just ended up playing in the leaves. We grab some of Mikayla, Amy, the evil casserole, and Goose Nick cheesecake.
"Are we close?"
"We have another 13.2 miles. Lilac, turn on our classic hits."
"What? How is please wrong?"
"Fyi, the magic word is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
"Real original Lilac. Real original."
"Your sarcasm is not even funny. People are reading this. They want something really interesting."
"Why would someone read this? It's just what runs through Aurora's brain, this weirdo thought up a red squirrel the size of an average adult woman, with blue wings, a ear of corn as a horn, who could turn people into food. Personally I'd be afraid to know this person, be in their presence, read anything she wrote, and particularly be in one her story's. Like we are."
"Well I'd have to agree with you that we are in quite a weird situation here, with this Aurora figure."
"Maybe she'll spare our lives, in some weird way. Or there will be some type of plot twist. Who knows but her?"
"Well obviously not us."
"You think I didn't know that? Lilac, please, blare my oldies!"
"Ok, I will." Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen begins to play.
"We made it. We are here. Let's just hope we make it out alive." I slowly turn around so my back is facing the front of the school. And Lilac turns off our Pandora.
"Where are we going to put the camper?"
"Well let's just leave it in the student parking lot for now." Not so long after I spoke, we hear footsteps coming our way making the ground have little earthquakes that almost made us fall over. I turn around and a towering creature that looks like an extremely fat and tall abominable snowman, and the words written in black on its chest wrote "Writer's block" It picked me up and consumed me, surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The stomach had a lovely leather couch in it, the walls were a warm burgundy, with lamps lighting up the room enough to light up the room. The only problems were, I couldn't think, and there were skeletons of those unfortunate people who hadn't gotten out. I push the couch into the middle of the room and try to climb out, it's saliva kept me down. I look at a portrait of Mr. Robtoy in the room under it, it said "Welcome! This what happens when prompts go wrong, and writers get stuck. To get out, my only hint to you is, Don't over think.
"DON'T OVER THINK?!?!" My voice rattled the the skeletons that were lying against the wall. One of their heads fell into its hands and the jaw opened wide. The hairs on my neck stand up straight, if they weren't so attached to my "giraffe" neck. Why do I say "giraffe"? Because that's what I've been called by my old friends before this incident. Well it's not an incident, it's a terrible tragedy that won't get fixed in time. It need to be fixed by someone with an incredible amount of courage. I wish that was me. Maybe it's me. I need to find a way to be courageous, well that's simple enough. There's a ton of stuff around here that if done, would be a courageous act. But what could I do? I'm not touching the skeletons. I shiver and thought this place is going to be the only place I'll see for the rest of my life. I reach into my purse and grab a quart size bag with chocolate and popcorn in it. I realize that my fire starter might still be in my purse, so I search for it as fast as I possibly can. I wonder what Lilac is doing now. Is she still alive? Is she okay? Well, before I can find out, I need to get out of here. I set the place on fire, it's throat dries, and it's mouth is open just enough for me to climb out. It's so weird, from the outside looking at the creature, it looks like my best friend when she has heart burn.
I sprint up the stairs to the english hall, dodging little flying trolls. Those evil little twits. I hear demented laughter coming from Mr. Robtoy's. I sneak in, and as soon as I get 5 steps in, I trip. Timmy, who sat at the same table as I used to, takes my favorite green pen with white writing saying "Green Mountain Electric Supply, Ink." He didn't just take it like a normal person, he used his brain power. But I got to say, he really was never was normal, and probably never will be. There were monsters of all shapes and kinds fighting each other and people writing profusely.
"What brings you back?" Timmy says looking at the pen closely.
"You never did bring things on time," he shows me a dent on my pen, "Remember that? That's Mrs. White's dent from when she hit me with a pen."
"I certainly remember. It was MY pen. Why did you two do that to MY pen. If you can't tell by now, I'm kinda not happy that MY FAVORITE pen is wrecked by you two." I take a short pause to keep the MY cool, "you just had to use my pen?"
"Well hey, what goes around comes around!" Shouts Anthony from the other side of the room.
"Oh my gosh you guys! I just got out of the stomach of that crazy writing block creature, and you wanna talk about Mrs. White's dent on my pen? Can't we just arm wrestle instead? Don't want waste my time arguing."
"Nah. Let's actually fight." We crack our knuckles and get into position. Everyone in Mr. Robtoy's creative writing class circle around knowing that if I win, the next person I will be up against is Mr. Robtoy, himself.
I take a deep breath and put on my game face. I'm trying not to look scared; I'm going up against a guy that is like foot taller than me and is extremely muscular, not like hot muscular, but more of a living replica of that weird green monster called hulk. So I'm not expecting to survive. Where's Lilac when you need her? He throws the first punch, I dodge. With one poke, I instantly knock him over. I examine my nail, nothing is abnormal about it. I look at Timmy, he's really knocked out. I look directly in front of me, it's Mr. Robtoy. I look around and notice that everyone is looking at him too. I can only think, "I'm screwed. There's no way I'm going to beat him today. I'm tired, hungry, sore, and have no clue where Lilac is." Instead I exhale and say,
"What's the method of fighting we will use?" I hold back a yawn.
"Rock, paper, scissor, shoot." He says in a serious manner.
"Well," I take moment to take in what he said, "Let's begin?"
Mickey, the shortest of my old friends, retrieves a rock album, blank sheet of copy paper, a VHS tape of the movie Scissors, and shots of kittens.
"What do we do with this stuff?"
"Write a story with each of these items in it," Mickey answers. Sounds simple enough, right? Of course it does. All until Mr. Robtoy adds,
"Don't stop writing until the timer goes off." My heart sinks, I could have had a bigger chance of fixing this town if he hadn't have said that. I guess I'll just have to write slower, or write nonsense. I'm a master at that.
The timer goes off after 20 minutes, which seemed like eternity. How will it be decided who wins? Mickey takes the papers. She erases the names off of them, tells us to go out into the hall. While inside the room she reads them aloud and everyone vote on their favorite, she counted the votes for each of the papers and brings us back. I feel just like I did right before they announced who would win the presidential election. I'm anxious, almost sweating, my hands are clamming up, it's getting hard to stand. Mickey finally announces who wins after what feels like years. Mr. Robtoy's name is called. What do I do now? Or should I ask, what will they do to me now? Lilac comes in too late thinking we conquered.
"Yeah! You go girl! We did it!" Everyone stares at her. I hang my head. She sees me and walks over in my direction. "We didn't win?" She says looking at me. I keep looking down. I lift my head after I gather my thoughts.
"No," I pause and begin to whisper "Do you have a plan B?"
"I might have something in store." She turns her back to me.
"Anyone hungry? I have cookies!" She yells. She somehow just spun around and, voila, a cookie platter appears in her hands. Everyone runs to her to get one.
Not too long after everyone eats them, The room spins. Random objects in the room are floating, the wall clock is bolting back in time. I'm scared to death, what the heck did Lilac do? Everything drops into place, the time is 1:56pm.
"Lilac?!" I say lying on the floor, dizzy.
"There's no lilac this time of the season. Are you okay?"
"I mean, Lilac. The crazy red squirrel? With blue wings and a ear of corn as a horn? You think I'm crazy. This is a crazy world you know."
"Aurora. You just didn't want to go to school a while back, you brain started to decompose, and here you are. Hallucinating."
"My name is McCrazor."
"Have a drink of water"
"I will, although I know that I was not hallucinating." I drink some water, and walk into class again. Most everything is making sense now. I name is Aurora, I'm in a class where monsters, and creatures from our imagination don't roam the world. My friends aren't food anymore. Everything seems normal, but for some reason I'm still expecting to see Lilac. There must be something in that water that brings out something that people refer to as electrolytes that help you think supposedly.
Maybe hallucinations actually are realty? Well, they have no idea what happens in in realty, I can't imagine life being a human. That's why I'm an alien, but I look like a member of this club known as "Human Kind." But why do they say human kind? Not all humans are kind. Am I an alien? No, or yes? Hallucinations? Who knows? Maybe realty isn't what we think of it as, could realty be our biggest fantasies?
"Lilac!" I pause, "Oh yeah. I remember now." I shrug. "Stupid nightmare" I murmur. I slip out of bed and walk over into the kitchen. I flip a switch, and Lilac as standing there pouring coffee into two mugs.
"Morning. I see you called for me."
"I must be dreaming again," I say talking to myself.
"You are." She disappears with my mug.
A few hours latter a wake up for real this time. I had a nightmare in a dream? "I thought my having a dream about drowning in coffee than being rescued by a giant blue octopus was bad." I realize where I am, "MOM?!" No answer. I look at my alarm clock, it's extremely late late in the day. I fall back down onto the down comforter, grab my phone and check my messages. "Well nobody texted me, I'll just annoy the heck outta them till they do," I raise my phone to my face again, "Da heck with this." I toss my phone across the room, reach for my radio's remote turn it on, as Billy Joel's "Still Rock And Roll To Me" starts up, I turn it up, "Everything is back to normal."